


“I loved him.”

by mxllstcne



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Just angst, M/M, everyone is sad, im not sorry, thats it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 03:46:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6268321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mxllstcne/pseuds/mxllstcne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“He wouldn’t have had to, if I hadn’t been so stupid in the first place. He died because of me.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	“I loved him.”

When Gwen found Arthur curled up in the middle of the hall, it had definitely been one of those things she thought she would never see. Quietly, she approached, placing a hand on his shoulder and kneeling so that she was at his level.

Arthur knew she was there, however he chose not to acknowledge her. He had wanted to be alone.

The two sat there in silence for quite a while, recieving judging, and then sympathetic looks from people (the latter happening once they realised just who was curled up on the castle floor).

It was, surprisingly, Arthur who broke their silence.

“It’s my fault, you know?”

“What’s your fault?”

“He was protecting me, trying to save me. He wouldn’t have had to if I hadn’t made him come along.”

“You knew Merlin, Arthur, he would have found a way to save you, no matter what. He would have done it for anyone.”

“He wouldn’t have had to, if I hadn’t been so stupid in the first place. He died because of me.”

“He died because he wanted to protect everyone. He was a good man. He was a kind, sweet man. But he’s gone, now. He doesn’t need you anymore. I need you. Your kingdom needs you.”

He felt Gwen’s grip on his shoulder tighten as she spoke.

Slowly, he turned to look at her,

“I know you think I’m a fool.”

“I have never thought you were a fool.”

There was a pause, then, during which they both looked at each other.

Arthur’s voice cracked as he spoke his next words.

“I loved him.”

“I know you did.”

Gwen pulled Arthur into her arms as the sobs began to wrack through him, his head resting on her chest. She kept a tight grip on him and allowed him to cry, the first time he had since just after finding Merlin’s body.

Neither knew how long they stayed like that, but Arthur knew that it felt nice to finally be able to let all of his emotions out, and he was glad that it was with Gwen.

It was true, he did love Merlin.

But he had come to terms with that far too late.

**Author's Note:**

> (This is an extract from a fic that I wrote a while ago. I decided to post it, as it was my favourite chapter of the ones I wrote. It is an AU where Merlin is killed instead of Arthur, and I used some dialogue (that has been altered slightly) from a deleted Game of Thrones scene as I thought it would suit this fic well.)


End file.
